Since I began my journey, I have been wondering whether minimalism and it’s philosophy appeals more to women?

I know that within the minimalist/simplicity community there are definitely prominent male bloggers like Everett Bogue, Leo Babauta, and Joshua Becker. But from what I’ve seen following other blogs , commenters, and people who have emailed me — there are significantly more women involved within the minimalist social circle.

Whether this observation says more about the people I have come across in the community or is a reflection of an actual trend I’m not certain.  Ultimately, I don’t believe it’s good or bad for one gender to dominate the minimalist community. My only question would be, if so, why is that?

I’m trying to think of what’s expected of me as a young man by society. Supposedly as a male, I’m supposed to want to dominate the area I’m in, acquire as much as I can to show my status, and use as many resources as possible to reflect power.

LOL – that’s not me. Or really what my definition of minimalism is about.

Are more women adopting a minimalist mindset? Could those societal expectations about what a man is supposed to be turn away many would-be male minimalists?

‘The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” is a famous poem by Gil Scott-Heron.

I think Mr. Scott-Heron’s attempting to tell people that if you want change, or a “revolution”, it’s not going to happen from being idle watching television. For a long time I’ve wanted to try to stop watching television, or at least significantly cutback. From August 5th – August 11th , I decided I was going to test myself and give up the television cold turkey. Going in, one of my greatest fears was that not having a television was going to leave me bored and restless. I felt ashamed for holding that belief and also for being so attached to a box with moving pictures.

On August 5th, I finished the 20 minute walk from the train station to my house. The day’s grind left me exhausted and I just wanted relief. My hand automatically reached for the remote and my right index finger was about to follow it’s familiar routine:  Cable >> Power >> TV >> Power.  Then I realized I wasn’t supposed to be watching television. Why the hell did I sign up to do this? my mind complained. Being honest, that day I probably would have just watched television if I hadn’t already told everybody I was stopping for the week. Realization #1 – Television watching is ingrained more than I knew.

So instead of watching television, I worked up a sweat at the gym even though my body was already tired. After the workout, I looked around my room and contemplated what to do next. I decided to prepare for a job interview I had for the following week and also read a book. I felt proud of myself for sticking to my gameplan and not caving to my desire to watch television. I knew that if something within me was craving television that much, I desperately needed to give it up — at least for a week. I made it through the rest of the first day unscathed, but unfortunately, they say the second day is the hardest to begin any new habit.

Photo Credit: Let's Get Fit To Focus

The next day was Friday and the start of the weekend which I knew offered a dangerous threat to my television-free weekend. The weekend challenges everybody trying to break free from television because days off from work generally provide much more free time. And free time can easily lead to TV time. Realization #2 -I quickly realized the key was to become busy. Friday night was very low key. Without television, I was able to catch-up in depth with many blogs I enjoy reading — including some minimalist ones. I also devoted more time to my job interview. Interestingly enough, I rediscovered how much I enjoy listening to the sports talk radio personalities by streaming the broadcast live through the Web.

For me, Saturday marked a turning point. Without television wasting my time I:

* Met up with a childhood friend and went to the movies early, *Enjoyed an encouraging meeting with my team members of goal-setters, *Got in an exhausting but needed workout, *Worked on People, Not Stuff, *Cleaned my laundry, *Participated in an intense mock interview, *Went to the Phillies game instead of watching it on TV, *Met a new friend, *Called an old college close friend, *Received an invite to meet with the Mayor’s press secretary,  *Opted out of junk mail and credit card offers, *Relaxed in complete silence.

The Television Free Minimalism Week has left me much busier than usual (in a positive way) and I enjoy feeling more like an active participant in my life instead of watching others live theirs.  Everything hasn’t been perfect since I stopped watching television. Yesterday, Day #7, I definitely watched the clock and thought about looking at television after midnight. But the desire wasn’t something strong and I didn’t feel like I was missing out if I didn’t turn on the TV. I’m split on whether I will continue the Television Free Minimalism Week for an extended period of time. I watched about an hour of TV today and caught up with some events going on in the sports world. If there is one this exercise has made me realize, it’s TV is a master at tricking people into thinking they are missing out on something. I know I felt this way. But my life quality improved without television — it can’t be a coincidence. With football season only 5 weeks away, I know I’m going to watch. So I’m leaning towards declaring Sunday as my TV day and letting go of the rest.

Advice If You Are Thinking of Giving Up TV:

1)  Rent It - What I mean is don’t think you have to go cold turkey for 6 months. Try living without TV for a week or two just to see how you feel and what changes occur. Don’t feel like you’re locked in forever. If you find TV is adding value to your life, than there’s no harm in watching.

2) Stay Busy – Boredom can easily lead to the desire to scratch the TV itch. You gain additional minutes that were previously devoted for TV. So you will quickly realize that you seem to have more time on your hands. Find ways to keep busy. I found it challenging at first but much easier and fun as the week progressed.

3) Tell Other People – I think one of the things that helped me was making my goal widely known. I didn’t want to have to face people and tell them I couldn’t make it. A little social pressure doesn’t hurt.

As a self-described minimalist, I sure take a lot of time to write about things.

But in reality people is the most important aspect in my life. In particular, I have been thinking about the power of friendships. I know specifically, Generation Y members often consider close friends as extended family members. I live in a Western-dominated society that places a high value-characteristic on the individual. Fair or not, those who produce and achieve while appearing to do so on their own are considered very important and the epitome of success. I have an ego too. I take an enormous sense of pride when I act independently and thrive. I enjoy feeling self-sufficient because it’s something that can’t be taken away from me because I created the appropriate actions. But I understand, ultimately, nobody achieves anything of value solely by themselves. Many of our actions, beliefs, and ideas have a foundation originating from someone else. True independence is very rare.

The minimalism path can often be lonely. The path can also be extremely liberating and provide a deeper foundation for the things that truly matter — People. To me, genuine friendships are vital towards living a happy life and for the development of the self. As minimalists, there are 4 must-have friendships to have:

Photo Credit: Archi Expo

The Supporter Friend - This friend is the one who always has you’re back. When the world seems to conspire to personally ruin your day, this friend always picks up your phone calls to listen to you vent. This friend’s genuine concern for your well-being allows you to feel compassion not only from others, but also for yourself. Although not necessarily a best friend, this person’s contagious positive energy can be the remedy for minimalism’s and life’s’ inevitable difficult times. This person is a reliable rock that’s always in your corner to cheer you on.

The Weird Friend – This friend is the one who might be considered ‘strange’ if you were to introduce them to different friends from your social circle. This person comes up with things you would have never bothered to think of in 1,000 years. Their brain simply operates on a different track than yours. This friend is very important to a minimalist because they force you to look at the world with a viewpoint entirely foreign to your own. With this person, you contain the ability to view events from a vastly alternate perspective; giving you the power to also look at your own actions and discover more efficient and healthy ways to live that you can adopt as a minimalist.

The Skeptic Friend – You remark, “this weather is going to be great!”, they reply, “Yeah but I bet it’s going to rain.” Or you say, “Wow, that’s the best song I’ve heard in awhile”, they reply, “She can’t actually sing, they just put the backup vocals really high and she lip-syncs.” The skeptic friend might appear to be a downer initially to others but this person is an asset to a minimalist. Many people interested in minimalism read numerous sources about the subject — most of which are informative and interesting, but some ideas don’t make much sense or aren’t really helpful at all. The skeptic friend makes sure the minimalist doesn’t get too carried away and has a sense of what’s real and what’s fluff. Additionally, it’s easy to believe something when it’s not being challenged, but the the skeptic friend forces you to really examine what you hold to be true. If you can successfully hold your position about some subset of your minimalist path, than you know it’s something that has true personal merit.

The Fun One — I think this person might be the most important one. The Fun One is the friend who always seems to have a good time. They can be shopping for groceries, conversing at a party, waiting for the subway — this person always somehow manages to have a fun time. When you’re out with this friend, they are always running into people they know and strangers chat with them. They simply just bring the fun. This person is important because I think it’s so easily to get caught up into removing things, not watching TV(raising hand), and being a ‘minimalist’, that losing sight of the fact that life isn’t a seriously deadly affair and it’s meant to be FUN and enjoyed occurs.Those activities are great, but they are just a means to an end. Fun isn’t a word generally associated with minimalism and The Fun One keeps things light and reminds you to just enjoy the moment.

If you can think of any other Friend Musts For Minimalists, please comment!

I’m going into personal uncharted waters and thinking of giving up my T.V. — at least for a week.

This decision might not sound particularly adventurous but, for me, I’ve always had a television. When I finished my inventory, I made the decision to keep my television. But the more I’m thinking about it, I want to see just how good life can be without a television. I’m afraid that I’m going to be bored during the downtime when I would normally tune into a program, but I’m willing to give it a shot.

There are people I know who live with without a television and enjoy it:

Sheri from MinimalistOC and Courtney from Be More With Less to name two.

But I am a huge sports fan. I’ve played sports all my life — even during college. I honestly don’t believe I can live without watching sports because it’s a part of who I am and it’s an activity I enjoy.  But, I do want to get rid of television for several reasons:

Encourages Unnecessary Purchases – Most television programs promote a lifestyle focused on materialism and excess. Although I generally only watch sports and some education channels, I also watch different shows. I’m sick of watching commercials forcefully trying to persuade me to buy things I don’t need or particularly want.  No television, no commercials.

Save More Time – The time I spend watching television could be spent on something else. That time doesn’t even have to be for something “productive” but can be used for leisure, working on a personal hobby, or something other than being blasted by commercials.

Generate My Own Opinions – A sneaky thing about television that’s not often discussed is just how much lifestyles, thoughts, and opinions about the way people ‘should’ act and live are reflected through most programs. Television has a way to normalize human behavior, even if it’s scripted. Many people try to live their lives like the people on television do. That’s a problem because the people are acting. Even the people on the news and in ‘reality’ programs. Maybe without television, I can produce authentic thoughts.

So even though I still have some reservations about not watching television, I figure I can’t know until I try. So starting August 5th, I’m going television-less for 7 days. No sports, no news, no Jersey Shore (joke). It’ll be interesting to see if I feel differently or exactly the same. At the end of the 7 days, I’ll be at a better reference point to make a decision about whether I’ll continue.

Also, if you live television free or have thought about doing so – please leave a comment. I’d like to hear your story.

I’ve written about my journey and what has brought me to living a minimalist lifestyle. So far, the benefits significantly outweigh the downside. That being said, I find adopting some minimalist aspects challenging. Below are three reasons I find minimalism challenging :

1) Minimalism Is Strange – Everything I see in our society tells me to buy and consume. On top of this, I’m told I deserve to live this way. Television shows and movies I watch feature characters who have adopted these values so far to the point that it’s an unconscious choice. Nobody in my family has directly told me I’m making a lifestyle mistake but sometimes I can’t shake the feeling at the very least, they think I’m weird for it. I have drifted apart from some, not many, of my friends due to a gradual change in beliefs about the way society should work.

Minimalism conflicts with the lifestyle I’ve been conditioned for 23 years to believe is appropriate and ‘right’. These factors accumulate to make me feel somewhat estranged from the common road path. I take responsibility for the choices I make because I am an adult. But I still feel alone from my peers and general society for choosing something uncommon. Everybody likes acceptance – I know I do. But I value my own self acceptance over general society’s view of what I ‘should’ be doing. In my heart, I know the minimalism lifestyle works for me.  Minimalism’s values and ideas make total sense when I examine them and how they relate to who I am and want to be.

Photo Credit: BalanceLifestyles

2) Auto-Pilot Is Easier — It’s much easier to just do what I’m told and not actively make decisions. Minimalism forces me to think about everything. Why am I really buying this? Am I holding onto this stuff because I need it or because I’m just attached? Can I be doing this process more efficiently? How is the action I’m about to do going to affect the environment? Not thinking about any of these questions can be easy to do and it’s encouraged subtly by mainstream entertainment and blatantly from advertisements. Being conscious about my decisions takes effort. Each day, these questions become more integrated into my natural decision making process. I make the choice to answer these questions because it’s worth it, but taking the responsibility to be aware takes effort. Auto-pilot is easier, plain and simple.

Photo Credit: BalanceLifestyles

3) I Like Stuff — Again, full disclosure, I like stuff. Everyone has a different definition about what minimalism means to them. For me, minimalism simply is about choosing the essential and minimizing the rest.  I think people who haven’t come across minimalism think it’s just about getting rid of absolutely everything to live in a 5 x 10 foot room. Getting rid of things just for sake of the act makes no sense. To me, that’s not what minimalism is about. But making the distinction between things I want versus need definitely is crucial. There are things that I want that I really don’t need. And some of these things aren’t environmentally friendly, or are expensive, or could be used by ten additional people instead of just me. I’m aware of the things that are necessities and I choose them — but it’s not always easy for me.

About a week ago and a half ago, I was feeling extremely confident and optimistic.

Boy, I wish I could have bagged the optimism busting from my heart at that moment and stored it in a safe container because I sure need some right now. Searching for a job stinks – period. But trying to find a job in this economic climate is extremely difficult. I’m upset because I feel like I did everything I was told to. Go to a great university? Check. Get good grades? Check. Network? Check. Volunteer and take internships? Check. But all those things don’t seem to matter to many employers. It would be easier to accept if I was the only one having trouble but I know I’m not. Many of my friends who have recently graduated within the past two years are struggling as well. And these are bright, creative, and generally hard-working young adults.

I don’t believe I’m entitled to some great career because I have a college degree. At the end of the day, having my name on a piece of paper doesn’t mean I’m supposed to have anything. I get it, I really do. It just hurts when you sweat and struggle to succeed for five years and when you finally climb the mountain, ready to take on the world, you realize the tall mountain you just climbed is really only a large hill and the REAL mountain is looming overhead. It’s just frustrating.

I really feel for those who have been established firmly in the workforce only to be let go with a “thanks for many years of service, see you later.” Many of those people have mortgages, kids, and other things to worry about. Fortunately for myself, I really only have to be responsible for one person — myself. So needless to say,  I have been feeling a combination of frustrated, apathetic, and angry the past few days since I have returned from Virginia Beach, Va.

What does any of this have to do with minimalism? I’m getting to that.

Every two weeks, I meet with a support group of sorts. It’s nothing official and it’s relatively small right now, but it’s something very cool in my life at a time when I especially need it.  In this group, me and three others sit down with each other every other Sunday to write down our new goals, go over the past 2 weeks goals, and also anything else going on in our lives.   So far, in this group that has been meeting for the last 6 weeks, 2 have gotten well-paying  secure jobs, 1 has decided to go back to school and is already signed up for classes in the Fall, 1 has de-cluttered and transformed his entire downstairs, 3 have followed exercising schedules with 1 even hiring a personal trainer and writing a daily food diary. It’s very fulfilling seeing people you like and respect doing great things and even better when you get a chance to help them accomplish their goals.

Since I’ve adopted a minimalist lifestyle, I have found some ‘friends’ don’t agree with the decision. I know I’m not the only one that has happened to.  It doesn’t really matter but what does is that we make sure that we get help and support when we need it and we give that as well. For me, after speaking with the group about my job frustrations, they helped me realize that while I cannot control all the external issues going on in the economy right now, I can always control my attitude. That’s important because it means that instead of adopting a ‘”poor me” attitude, I can withstand obstacles, not take them personally, and most importantly, continue trying. I say all this to say that we all need support groups in our lives. Sometimes that group support comes from our family. But it can be our friends or even good-hearted strangers.

I think most of us interested in minimalism and simple living are also generally interested in self-development.   In each of our self-development paths, I think it’s important to realize the value support groups provide us. Sometimes, we don’t always have to go through everything alone.

I’ve been seriously thinking about actively employing a minimalist lifestyle for 2 months, although the seed was planted long ago.

It’s easy for me to make excuses why to delay beginning. My own nagging voice in my head says I can do it once I move into my own apartment. Or I need to find the right job first. But those doubts are minor compared to two irritatingly incessant questions:

1: Is a minimalist lifestyle possible FOR ME? &     2: Is a minimalist lifestyle even worth it?

It took me awhile, but I know the answers to both questions. I recognize the same thought patterns in others, especially when deliberating whether to embark on a strange new path. Below are answers to each question to attempt helping others who are on the verge of beginning a minimalist lifestyle or have thought about the possibility.

Question 1) “For me” is the most crucial part of the question. I think it’s easy to find other people who are living a minimalist lifestyle. Everett Bogue is currently living out the minimalist lifestyle to the extreme and thriving. A tiny family of four in Vermont made the change in 2008 and hasn’t looked back. Okay, so other people can do it, that’s nice, but what about for you?

Yes, you can. (Cue Obama) I know I can too. I realized I’ve been indirectly living some elements of a minimalist lifestyle for the past 5 years as a college student at Lehigh University. Small apartment? Check. No car on campus? Double Check. Lack of funds? 500 checks. And I thrived. Look into your past and at the experiences you’ve had when you didn’t have much. It can be for a day, or a month, or your entire upbringing. The important thing is taking note of whether you survived, and what did you gain from having less? If you discover you survived (which I really hope you did because if you didn’t and you’re reading this I’m communicating with a ghost!), you are more than capable of living a minimalist lifestyle.

Question 2) Personally, the second question is more difficult to answer but just as important. I realize that I will never know 100% if a minimalist lifestyle will be worth it until I actively commit.  And neither will you until you try. It’s like watching a stunning movie preview. You have to make the decision to pay $13.50 – (I know, $13.50?!?!) for the ticket and risk witnessing a bad movie and wasting your time. Well you saw the amazing preview, read glowing reviews online, so the only way to really discover if you like the movie is to try it. If you don’t like it, you can always leave the theater. Or in this case, go back to your current lifestyle.

To me, a minimalist lifestyle offers a pathway to enhance my personal freedom, add clarity, increase my wealth, and take back control over my time. Anybody would ecstatically embrace those additions to their life.

Remember, there is never a perfect time to begin anything.

I became interested in living a simple minimalist lifestyle fairly recently. When I was taking the train into the city everyday for my internship, I saw the same looks on people’s faces every morning.

Some faces were glum, a small minority appeared sad, and a few even looked angry. The majority of my fellow morning commuters slowly shuffled onto the train like they were being pulled by some imaginary force. Everybody’s eyes seemed to have a glazed look to them.

As a fairly new entrant into the real working world, I wonder, how did it come to this? I also want to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to me.

It’s obvious to me that many people on that train don’t like their jobs. I began thinking, if they didn’t like their jobs so much, why not change or find  a way out? But The Great Recession has made changing jobs and careers an extremely risky option. So essentially, many people are stuck.

As I began thinking even more, I realize just how stuck many people are. Most people in American society work to receive  a paycheck – usually once a week or every two weeks. Where does this money go? We’ll unfortunately, the majority of many people’s cash goes towards either paying off debt, or acquiring new debt.

This debt comes in all forms such as debt from secondary education, debt from mortgages, debt from credit cards. Some people have a car payment, which comes with the car insurance payment. If you have a house, you have to insure your house as well as pay for it. And so on.

I know some people might think – but wait?- isn’t a house and transportation necessary? I say absolutely. But it’s the type and size that matters to me. Is a McMansion really needed? Doesn’t a single bedroom apartment accomplish the same function as a 4 bedroom house for one person? Doesn’t driving a small hybrid get you to the same place as if you had driven a Hummer? Personally, I want to live in a city where I don’t need a car to get around.

Somewhere along the way, I think American society drifted towards extreme consumerism. We have all been conditioned to believe not only do we need a big house, a nice car, and many luxuries to be content, but that we deserve these things. So what happens once most people enter the workforce is they find a place to live, and start buying all types of stuff. But honestly, I don’t believe most of it isn’t necessary or even conducive to being happy.

I’m not against owning things. In fact, my parents and friends would say I have expensive taste. But I am seeing where the problem lies.

Continually accumulating more and more stuff costs money. Subsequently, more money is required for maintenance of the stuff, more money to repair the stuff, more money to upgrade the stuff, and more money to insure the stuff.

Eventually, there is so much stuff and so many payments, people are working paycheck to paycheck just to maintain their current lifestyle. This scenario means that person’s ability to live is tied to their next paycheck . As a result, many people must work a job they don’t like, to maintain a lifestyle they can’t truly afford, and under the rocky scenario of potentially losing their job in a shaky economy.

No wonder so many people are unhappy.

I am embracing a minimalist lifestyle because I am realizing I don’t need many possessions to make me happy. Many possessions aren’t going to add happiness to my life. They will only inhibit my freedom. And I place a high value on being free.

I am currently designing my life in such a way that allows me to live with a minimum amount of possessions so that I can make way for the things that truly matter to me. The essentials. For me, this is 1) Family , 2) Close Friends, 3) My Writing, 4) Fitness/Health, 5) Sports, and 6) education.

These things make me happy and I want my time to be dedicated to the essentials, as opposed to worrying about unnecessary possessions.